BY ANA ACLE AND ANDRES VIGLUCCI

 As the Cuban government and Elian Gonzalez's grandmothers bitterly complained
 about the tension-filled Miami meeting with their grandson, visit host Sister Jeanne
 O'Laughlin surprised virtually everyone Thursday by shedding her ``neutral'' stance
 and calling for the boy to stay in the United States.

 O'Laughlin is not only talking about it; she is taking action. O'Laughlin said she
 decided to go to Capitol Hill -- at her own expense -- to lobby U.S. Attorney
 General Janet Reno, a close friend, and other federal officials. Immigration
 officials quickly said O'Laughlin's opinion would not affect their stance that
 Elian should be reunited with his father in Cuba.

 The Miami family's supporters exulted over O'Laughlin's announcement and
 other unexpected news Thursday:

 A federal judge hearing the family's lawsuit to block the government from sending
 Elian to Cuba put off a hearing until March, giving them time to press for
 proposals in Congress to give the boy U.S. citizenship.

 The National Council of Churches, a U.S. Protestant and Orthodox group that
 sponsored the grandmother's U.S. trip, withdrew from further involvement after the
 Cuban Interests Section in Washington took control of the agenda.

 ``How are we doing? Pretty good,'' said family advisor Armando Gutierrez. ``Strike
 one, Sister Jeanne; strike two, the judge giving us time; strike three, the National
 Council pulling out.''

 POSITIONS HARDEN

 Even as supporters tallied up the score, it seemed evident that Wednesday's
 reunion between Elian and his grandmothers mostly succeeded in hardening
 positions on both sides of the Florida Straits.

 Though it accomplished its main goal of a visit between them, the fallout suggests
 it failed to advance any kind of resolution to the impasse.

 O'Laughlin said in an interview that before the meeting she believed Elian should
 go home. She changed her mind after seeing ``fear emanating'' from both the
 grandmothers, Mariela Quintana and Raquel Rodriguez, and the boy's Miami
 relatives. O'Laughlin, president of Barry University, blamed the fear on the Cuban
 government, though she was not more specific.

 ``The laws of this nation always support the bond of a parent and child unless
 there is a dramatic circumstance,'' O'Laughlin said before departing for
 Washington late Thursday. ``This is a dramatic time. Because, as I found myself
 imagining the child growing into manhood, the fear that seemed to be emanating
 made me question the environment this child has come from.''

 HAVANA COMPLAINTS

 Even before O'Laughlin made her announcement, the Cuban government,
 apparently based on accounts from the grandmothers, began complaining about
 the ``humiliating'' treatment allegedly accorded them during the meeting.

 Among the complaints detailed in a long unsigned article in Thursday's edition of
 Granma, the Cuban Communist Party daily: That nuns in O'Laughlin's house
 constantly interrupted the private meeting between Elian and the grandmothers
 with ``trifles'' to eat as an excuse to deliver messages praising the Miami
 relatives, and that a cell phone the grandmothers carried was confiscated as Elian
 and his father in Cuba, Juan Miguel Gonzalez, began a conversation -- their first
 outside the supervision of the Miami family.

 Though O'Laughlin said the cell phone violated ground rules for the meeting, the
 Cubans and the grandmothers said that was never their understanding.

 Later Thursday, Elian's father lashed out at the nuns' handling of the meeting.

 ``They brought everything crashing down,'' he told a meeting of the
 Pittsburgh-Matanzas Sister Cities Association in Cuba. ``I feel more indignant
 than ever, seeing how these brave mothers and grandmothers went into the heart
 of the Mafia.''

 `CARING AND PASTORAL'

 But Bob Edgar, general secretary of the National Council of Churches, who was
 at the house during the meeting, said the complaints about the meeting were
 simply ``wrong.''

 ``Sister Jeanne needs to be commended. She was hospitable. She was caring
 and pastoral,'' he said. ``That doesn't take away that I think the grandmothers are
 right. They are loving grandmothers, and they want their grandson back.''

 However, Edgar diplomatically questioned O'Laughlin's decision to take a stand
 on the issue of Elian's return, calling it ``a mistake.''

 ``When she accepted the responsibility from the INS to be a neutral person, I
 think the rights of being a public person ended,'' Edgar said. ``I'm saddened but I
 understand it. Sister Jeanne has to live in the neighborhood.''

 FEARED HARM

 Edgar attributed the grandmothers' fear during the meeting not to the Cuban
 government, but to the presence of vocal demonstrators outside the house and of
 Cuban American National Foundation officers in an adjoining yard -- both of which
 he said violated the rules for the meeting.

 He said the women feared they could come to physical harm. That was why the
 grandmothers' departure for the house from Opa-locka airport, where they landed
 in a chartered flight from Washington, was delayed for an hour.

 Edgar also said his group withdrew from involvement with the trip after the visit
 was over, when officials from the Cuban Interests Section stepped in.

 LIMITED MISSION

 ``Our mission was to bring the grandmothers and give them an opportunity to
 meet with Elian. We accomplished our mission,'' he said. ``When those wheels
 lifted off yesterday, it was clear the Cuban Interests Section was deciding where
 the plane was going.''

 O'Laughlin said Cuba's criticism of the meeting disturbed her.

 ```When I hugged the grandmothers goodbye, they were friendly and thankful,''
 she said. ``I did not feel any antipathy.''

 Wearing an emerald cross on a chain around her neck, O'Laughlin defended her
 decision to speak out, saying it was ``the truth in my heart.''

 ``If there was a doubt that I was neutral, you have to look at my perception on
 Monday and Tuesday,'' she said. ``At the time, I thought the child should return to
 his father in Cuba.

 Of the three nuns at the house during the meeting, Sister Leonor Esnard, who
 came to the United States from Cuba when she was 14 with her younger brother
 on a Pedro Pan flight in 1961, had the closest contact with the grandmothers
 during their visit.

 Contradicting reports from Cuba that the meeting was ``hellish,'' Esnard described
 a very comfortable, private atmosphere. She said she could not hear their
 conversation, but did hear a lot of laughter. At one point, the grandmothers began
 taking pictures with the boy. It wasn't until the boy had left that the grandmothers
 broke down in tears.

 ``We tried to console them, but they were too upset,'' Esnard said. ``I felt for
 them. They love that kid.''

 Herald translator Renato Perez contributed to this report.

                     Copyright 2000 Miami Herald